What I understood from dating other people, making mistakes and having heartbreaks.

(I originally posted it in r/dating. Someone suggested in the comment that I should post this here, so here it is.)

Not currently in a relationship but learned this in real life.

  1. Don’t get attached easily. (It will cause most of the heartbreaks and it is not worth it. I am speaking from personal experience)

  2. Some men and women have more options and reasons to choose another person over you or me (unless we are famous or provide something that the others cannot)

  3. Mixed-signal is no signal.

  4. Being more invested than the other party is never a good sign and will always lead to disaster.

  5. You are not perfect neither is she. (We all have our flaws and there are no exceptions.)

  6. Don’t put him/her on the pedestal. (If you do that they will have no choice but to look down upon you)

  7. You need to love yourself first before you expect others to love you. (Most of the time I am attracted to someone because of the qualities that they have and I don’t. I am working on that.

  8. If you are a beginner and are playing with a professional, get ready to be knocked out again and again. (We should be playing with someone who is one or two-level up or down from the level we are currently at. I don’t believe in miracles)

  9. The idea of soul-mate is dangerous. (There are maybe 1 million people who are searching for exactly someone like you, you have not met them all and you will never will. So don’t get stuck on a particular person.)

  10. All of us are unique and worthy of respect and love. (This should be a mutual feeling between two parties otherwise probably, it is not going to last.)

  11. Be better, not bitter.

I have made all those mistakes.

I probably will make some more but I believe the right person will be compassionate enough and will love me enough and help me to be a better person

All constructive criticisms are welcome. I am grateful to all of the lovely Redditors who shared their experiences and helped me to become a better person

Update: It is hard to believe that this post will resonate with so many of us. Also, I want to thank you all the Redditors for all the awards.

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