The Science of Attraction: Dating Apps vs Relationship Apps

Dating Apps vs Relationship Apps: Think of the last time you were on a dating app. Perhaps you saw a profile picture and cute tagline that made you go, “They might work for me.” You may have even reached out for more. Maybe they responded to you, sent an emoji, or you got ghosted.

It’s no surprise that online dating and social hookup apps make things hard. There is, for all the possible options of mate, a real lack of profound connection. You might think this is the way it has to be. You could say it’s wired in both the makeup of these kinds of apps and in our biology.

To understand why, you have to look at the science of attraction, dating apps vs relationship apps, and compare the features the existing apps offer. What scientists can tell you about love and relationships is that they really have to do with chemistry.

Maybe it’s natural, maybe it’s dopamine.

In way of explaining, let’s remember the last time you saw someone you found attractive. Perhaps you stopped in your tracks, sweated a little, and said something embarrassing. You felt a reaction to the chemicals controlling lust, attraction, and attachment. Dopamine. Testosterone. Estrogen. Oxytocin.

Relationships grow on these chemical building blocks. (For a full breakdown, visit this Harvard Study). If we compare your experience of the app to the encounter, there is a palpable problem. Apps often do not make room for chemistry. You must make calculated small talk and arrange dates entirely through an app. They leave out the building blocks of lasting relationships. Of course, this is not true for all apps of this class—at least, not anymore.

That’s why we should really make a distinction between two kinds of apps. There are apps for dating, and there are social apps for making relationships happen.

Dating apps vs Relationship apps

On the one hand, there are dating apps in which you can arrange lots of meaningless dates. The other, a relationship app in which you open the door to unexpected romance. These are not two ways of saying the same thing. You can tell which kind of app you are looking at based on its interface. If it asks you a lot of surface-level questions and you upload a lot of edited pictures, you are probably using a dating app.

In contrast, if it alerts you to where people you might want to meet are at any given time, and you can invite yourself to “take a seat” with them, you, my friend, are using a relationship app.

With the relationship app, you can use social networking as a means to a chemical reaction. It’s the possibility of chemistry that the relationship app has not forgotten.

Comely, a relationship app hybrid

Comely, a social networking and dating hybrid, is one such app that makes for real-time connection.

With features like Outfit of the Day (for easy spotting), and place-based suggestions, you can discover places to go and arrange to meet people in a snap. Like other apps, you can see who admires you and spread love online. But, the main selling point of Comely is our ability to instantly suggest users available to connect with you. Even more, is our way of encouraging our users to get out there. We are accelerating the organic meeting process. We send our premium users coupons for our Comely Hours. Our users get to show their coupons at a specific time at different local bars, cafes and nightclubs and instantly get discounts on their tab. Because we believe body language and chemistry play important roles in effective communication and making meaningful connections.

As we emerge from an intensive testing phase, you can get alerted to updates on this radical new take on meeting new people. Just sign-up for our newsletter.

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