Should I Date Multiple People ?

How to Date Multiple People

It seems like dating more than one person has become a normal concept. It spawned with the online dating era. Quickly, it spread throughout modern dating. Now, it seems to be the preferred dating method for everyone. Maybe is always was and it’s just coming to the surface now. Either way, there are both pros and cons to dating multiple people. Let’s take a look at some of them.

It sounds like a good idea at first, right? You get to meet different people, keeping your options open. Through doing this, you’re able to compare different dates and see how they measure up to your ideals. This means you can screen out partners much easier, because you have a comparison. You aren’t afraid of telling one date that you’re not interested, knowing you have others to fall back on.

For those who have limited time for dating, dating multiple people can help you to maximize your time. You meet the most people and have the largest dating options for the future. It’s a balance between life and love that doesn’t feel challenging and impossible to keep up with.

However, dating multiple people can quickly turn from a sweet idea to a sour reality.

Firstly, many people risk over-extending themselves. They try meeting too many people and end up exhausted. Or, they meet too many people and exhaust their resources. If you’re meeting too many potential partners, it can be easy to start confusing them. You have to force yourself to remember personal details for each individual. If you mess up the details, your date may be upset. This last point is especially true if you’re not being open about dating multiple people.

Yes, you want to date a few different people and leave your options open. You also want to be honest with the people you’re meeting. Let them know where you stand, so that you’re not expecting different outcomes. Let them know if you’re seeing other people. You don’t have to tell them how many people you’re seeing or anything about the others. But be open. You don’t want to lead anyone on.

As you weigh the pros and cons of attempting to date multiple people, you’ll see that moderation is really the answer. Many people don’t want to have to limit themselves to one person at a time. If you’re only seeing 2-3 people, it’s much easier to keep the details separate, while still having your options open. This allows you to give more personalized attention to each date as well. You’ll find it easier to balance and easier to communicate.

Now, when you’ve made a decision about someone, it’s best to let them know as early as possible. You don’t want to breadcrumb (eg: drag someone along by letting them think there’s more coming) anyone. You want to let them down gently and let them know that you’re just looking for something else. Just, make sure you know where your head is before making any decisions. Regret is an ugly feeling and you don’t want to feel like you’ve turned someone away.

Trying to date multiple people isn’t for everyone, but if you think it’s the best decision for you, no one can tell you otherwise. Just be careful with your time, energy, and heart.

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James Preece
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK’s leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.

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