REMINDER: you need to pass the “superficial” filters in order for someone to see the authentic, real you that they could fall for.

Consider this your daily dose of reality.

I keep seeing posts from both men and women about how the opposite sex can’t seem to give “decent men or women” a chance, or complaining that so and so gender only wants sex/is abusive/only wants attention etc.

Women: men only want sex, why can’t I find a relationship, all men are the same, why can’t I find someone who I am compatible with who is nice/interesting

Men: What are you talking about? there are a ton of interesting compatible men around you, this makes no sense. also, women seem to just want validation/attention, why can’t I find one that is interested in me if I’m this so called guy who is interested/fun/has a good job/hobbies/etc.

Both sexes are not taking the whole meeting process into the equation. When women talk about wanting a man who is interesting, wants a relationship, is fun, has hobbies, etc. they are picturing a man whom they are already somewhat attracted to – yes this means looks. yes, this includes height, weight, etc. No, this is not all women, but I would say the majority. Same with Men. Men typically want a women is generally attractive/feminine as a baseline, and things like career/ambition/intelligence, although required and good qualities, don’t meet much if he has not attracted to you.

*Caveat, this applies to mostly online dating and meeting strangers. If you grew up in the same social circle where you had the chance to really to know that person this applies far less.

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