Make them feel good.

There’s a lot of solid advice I see on this sub, but the one piece of advice that’s always worked for the best for me, is that if you want someone to like you, all you have to do is make them feel good. And this goes beyond just romantically, but this is a dating sub so I’ll relate it to dating.

Now a decent chunk of guys will see this and not understand how to do that. A lot will assume this means to just incessantly compliment whatever girl you’re interested in. But that isn’t what it means. So I’ll make a few bullet points to describe how to make someone else feel good.

  • Compliments are powerful and useful tool. Don’t be afraid to compliment people. But if you do, make sure it’s genuine. Telling a girl “you look hot” isn’t going to make them feel good, it’s going to make them feel uncomfortable and weirded out. Instead, compliment them on their personality, try to identify traits about them that you genuinely enjoy. Or if you do want to compliment their appearance, compliment them on their hair or their eyes, rather than their body or general appearance.

  • Be positive. I can’t stress this enough. The most unattractive thing I see on this sub is the amount of negativity. And that’s not to say that negative thoughts are bad, but the truth is you’re not going to win people over if you’re a source of negativity. It’s not enjoyable to be around, and it’s mentally draining. Positivity and a cheerful personality is infectious, and it’s incredibly magnetic. If you truly can’t fake happiness, then at the very least, fake being unbothered. A laid-back, carefree attitude is much better than someone who wallows in their own sorrow.

  • Talk to them as you would a friend or an equal. One of the most gratifying things is a genuine conversation with someone. One time, my friend started dating this very shy girl, who didn’t say much to me. I eventually started thinking she was rude and she disliked me. But eventually she became a good friend of mine, and sometimes I couldn’t get her to stop talking. Do you know what caused the huge change? A conversation about The Sims. After we bonded over both playing The Sims, she completely opened up and her shyness around me disappeared.

  • Be a good listener! A lot of guys think they need to be witty or spit game for girls to take interest. In all honesty, being a good listener will probably get you further. People love to talk, so give them a chance to, and when they do, actually listen. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. When they are telling you about something, ask questions! If they told you a funny story, bring it up the next time you see them. Make sure they know that you actually absorbed whatever they were talking about. It will make them feel like you respect their voice.

  • Include them in activities. People place far too much emphasis on “the big question” when you finally ask someone out. It doesn’t have to be that hard. If you know your friends are doing something the upcoming weekend, then invite the girl out to join you! Having a conversation about an upcoming movie hitting theatres soon? Suggest that you make plans to go! Being invited to outings makes anyone feel good, it makes them feel wanted and thought of, and that you enjoy their company.

  • Reach out to them! Texting games are stupid and juvenile. If you’re pissed off because you constantly have to “reach out first”, put away your ego and do it anyway. A simple text is a great way to let someone know that you value them. And it can be a simple as a funny meme you saw, or a video about a topic you recently discussed. Don’t hound them all day with non-stop texts, but a send one out every now and then.

  • Generosity! Take every opportunity to show how generous you are. If you’re grabbing coffee with a girl, and they have a charity jar, throw in 5 bucks. Offer to pay for their meals (but don’t insist, if they want to pay for themselves, let them). Give them a little gift once and a while (nothing big, but like if you go on a trip, pick them up a shot glass or a little figurine).

  • Love life, love yourself, and don’t be afraid of expressing passion. I know this is easier said than done, but it really is just overpowered when it comes to making connections with people. Everyone has their down moments, but if they see someone who just glows with being comfortable with themselves, enjoys life, and has passions towards things, they will gravitate towards that person naturally. And this doesn’t mean bragging about how good you have it. It means being grateful for what you have, rather than being jaded over what you don’t. That’s the kind of person that most people will want to surround themselves with.

I know that a lot of these are easier said than done, and many people are dealing with things that might prevent them from practicing this advice. But the only thing you can ask yourself, is to simply try. You will be better off for it, I promise you.

Latest posts