For those who struggle with accepting love, struggle with self-confidence or worry they’ll never find someone out there. This got removed from LPT so someone recommended I post here 🙂
I had really piss poor self-esteem and mental health when I was younger. I struggled for some time with an ED. I hated a lot of things about my appearance and like most people, I was always comparing myself to others who I perceived as being miles more attractive.
Some time in university, I had the thought: just because I’m not my own type, doesn’t mean I’m not somebody else’s. I think I’m ugly, I hate xyz body part, but really… but so fucking what? People focus so much promoting the idea that good self-esteem is feeling “beautiful” and obviously that’s ideal, but realizing that you can simply just tolerate your appearance is life changing and takes away a lot of pressure. Becoming comfortable with yourself will happen naturally afterwards. It made me stop chasing ridiculous standards and took a lot of pressure off. You may never, ever be what you personally perceive as “beautiful” because of factors that are beyond your control. Realize that and accept that because it is totally ok.
Regardless of how many or few compliments you’ve gotten in your life, how many dates you’ve been on, even if that’s 0, I guarantee you that there are plenty of people who find you attractive. Trust others when they give you nice compliments, even if you think they’re delusional. I used to doubt that shit so hard, but since adopting this mindset, my internal reaction is kind of an amused “I feel like I’ve somehow sneakily tricked you but, win for me :)”
Maybe this is not as groundbreaking for others as it was for me, but I thought I’d shoot my shot in sharing anyway, in case it can bring reassurance to even one person. I want to say also that this isn’t meant to imply you need to lean on others to build your self-confidence at all, and that there are many other components beyond just physical appearance that make you attractive.
TL;DR – it’s not the end of the world if you don’t find yourself attractive. we are often encouraged to learn to see ourselves as “beautiful” and while that’s ideal, it can be really fucking hard. My advice is instead learning and accepting that you really don’t need to find yourself attractive – it just means you aren’t your type, but I assure you that you are certainly somebody else’s. Beauty is 100% subjective.