Is self-deprecating humor a red flag for you?

I used to enjoy it, find it endearing, but the last couple of years I’ve shifted and am finding it a turn off. I know it’s supposed to be a joke, showing that you don’t take yourself seriously, but the more I date the more I am convinced people seem to use it as a shield for poor behavior?

I get in your 20s you are less sure of yourself and it’s a way to deflect and bond over your awkwardness or confusion, but in your 30s people are far more confidence and sure of themselves generally, and I am starting to feel this kind of humor hints at a lack of maturity?

Like if you are bad at something or have a flaw you dislike… why would you not take responsibility to fix it, or at least accept it, rather than sort of crack jokes about it? I’m thinking of people who are bad drivers, cooks, etc. Everyday stuff that basic adults should be able to do responsibly and safely. Or people who make jokes about how barely competent they are at their jobs they have been doing for a decade or more?

Maybe I’m missing something, or I’m getting too old. It’s bizarre to me when someone who seems to be otherwise great starts doing this on a date or in messages and makes me start questioning them.

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