Instead of focusing on what somebody can be focus on what he is right now. Too often people get stuck in toxic relationship becouse of the potential other person will never fulfill

Here and now is the most important thing. We often feel like “she is so nice and warm but a bit fat. She would be so much better if she lost that weight” or “he could be such a sucesfull man if only he stoped doing drugs and hanging out with loosers” in general “they could become soo much more than they are now” we tell them that , they tell us they will and we feel like their saviours but guess what. They never do. They never intended to and you wanted to “repair” them so much you couldnt see that they were comfortable as they were but liked the atention you gave them.

That is why it is very important to evaluatr relationship based on “here and now” instrad of “it would be perfect if…”

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