This is advice that I needed to hear to have a successful relationship. I was putting in effort with men who were just not as interested in me as I was with them. It always had me anxious and second guessing myself. I slowly learned to let these guys go and pursue men who showed similar levels of interest.
I finally started dating a guy who from the beginning planned dates and put in a lot of effort. He wasn’t always the quickest to text, but he always wanted to spend time with me and make me his priority. We naturally just developed. The anxiety that I thought was preventing me from forming a relationship melted away. I learned that it wasn’t all me, my anxiety was at least in large part caused by the men and the dating culture I was in.
I couldn’t be happier now, we live together and he is a rock in my life. He treated me well from the beginning and was very receptive when I told him about my anxieties. I never thought I would find a partner, I always had doubts and didn’t think I was worthy. I found him after I did two years of major work on myself with therapy and diet and creating a healthy lifestyle. He had also just gone through a lot of therapy to work on himself too. We both were in therapy that looked at our previous relationships. I have someone who comes home happy, helps do laundry and dishes, helps take care of my own pets and doesn’t take his anxieties out on me. He shares his anxieties and is very open about things. He knows he can cry to me, I am there with open arms and he is there for me. I am thankful every day, because I know abusive relationships and I know that this is wonderful.
Keep your heads up, work on yourselves if you can. Don’t let your anxieties get the best of you and move on from dating people who aren’t giving you what you need.