I Don’t Think I (30M) Should be trying to Date Anyone Until I Live On my Own. Is this a good idea?

Hello all,

I am a straight guy, just turned 30 over the summer. Around the end of November, beginning of December, I made the choice to start dating again after over eight years of being single by choice and repressing my desires for intimacy and sex. I’d deep down really like to find a fulfilling relationship and all that stuff. But I have a massive hinderance to that goal.

I still live with my parents.

Let me set the record straight. No, I’m not a deadbeat, I help pay bills, in addition to paying my own. I cook, clean, do laundry, and can do basic upkeep maintenance. I never was able to move out because I made a bad choice in college degree (filmmaking) and struggled to get a job with a living wage in the industry. I worked a full time retail job (that didn’t really pay a living wage either), while working a freelance job for sports videography. My student loans ate up a huge chunk of my paychecks, in addition to other bills. As such, I was never able to create much of a savings to move out. I took a risk in late 2019 and took a job at my best friend’s web development startup to learn how to design websites and do some video work. Unfortunately, when COVID hit, the business ended up going under, and my freelance job wasn’t able to operate either. I decided to go back to school for a more marketable degree (education and history), and in May, my freelance job was able to get back up and running again. They brought me in as a summer intern, brought me back as a fall intern, and will be officially hiring me full time at the end of the month. (Start of new fiscal year)

So I have an action plan to move out eventually, it’ll just be a little while until I finish school. (by the end of 2022)

In the interim though, should I wait to start dating in earnest until that happens? I feel as though any woman my age will immediately think less of me for it and will see it as a massive red flag. And I get it, it’s societally unacceptable for a guy my age, barring caring for sick parents. My parents are healthy, they just don’t make a lot of money either. Hell, I think even living with roommates at my age would raise a few eyebrows of potential dates. I know I made some bad choices, and I’m not blaming anybody but myself for them. I have been on a few virtual dates in the past month, but they all ended disastrously (they all deduced my living situation. I tried not to talk about it)

I have asked similar questions before, others said I do indeed need to move out (to which I know I do), but still… Should I keep trying now? Or would it be best to hold off until I live by myself?

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