So first off, this is a throwaway because I’m a little embarassed and hurt by what happened. A little about me. I’m 24, M. I recently lost a good amount of weight (I wasn’t fat before but the best way to describe it is now I have visible abs). I’m quite fit and not too bad looking (IMO at least, plus I’m over 6 feet which is also a desirable trait?). I don’t really like dating apps, I don’t do the hookup thing, and tbh I haven’t been very active in trying to find someone to get involved with. My dating life has basically just been dead for the last year as I was working on myself. I would use Hinge and just swipe and see if, on the off chance, I run into someone I get along with (I’m a hopeless romantic and believe in finding “the one”).
I’ve only had a handful of matches that I’ve been interested in talking to and of those, none has lasted longer than a couple days. I’m not a bad conversationalist and I’m often described as being quite charasmatic so I don’t have problem keep a conversation; I just don’t really have much interest right now. A month ago, I matched with a girl that I was actually interested in and we started talking. We hit it of REALLY WELL. Like I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who I got along with this well. A week into our conversations, we talked about meeting up but a couple days later, she told me never expected us to hit it off so well. She usually just drops the conversation after a day or two and she didn’t think we would still be talking after all this. She told me she wasn’t too comfortable with meeting right now and wanted to wait till it was warmer and asked me to ask her again in a month or two if I was still interested because she didn’t know what she wants and didnt want to waste my time .
I told her its okay, I know what I wanted and what I’m looking for. I told her I didn’t expect us to hit it off so well but I enjoy talking to her. I don’t know where things might go but right now, I know I want to get to know her more and would love to keep talking if that’s what she wanted. I also made it clear that I didn’t want to rush her into doing anything she wasn’t comfortable with.
She voluntarily gave me her snapchat (we’ve been texting before this). We ended up snapping and texting almost daily for the next 3 weeks. She usually just texts in the mornings and at night and she explained it was because she has a really busy school schedule. Last week, I brought up meeting again and she agree to go for a coffee and a walk.
We met up and it seemed to go well. She was laughing at all my jokes and we didn’t run out of stuff to say. Once we finished the walk and got back to our cars, I looked at her and she told me she wouldn’t mind continuing the walk or something if I still had time (I might be rusty to dating but I take that as a really good sign). We ended up getting into my car and going for a drive and getting bubble tea. I think everything went well except for the goodbye which was a little awkward and abrupt because I wasn’t sure if I should give her a hug or not.
I texted her that night and told her I had fun and would love to see her again. She told me she did too and would be down to meeting again. She told me she was scared it would be awkward but was really glad it wasn’t awkward at all. I made a joke about how I could turn up the awkwardness for her next time if she wanted but that’s basically the last I talked to her. This was on Sunday.
Since then, she hasn’t replied to my text or my snap. I haven’t tried to send a second message as I want to give her space but at the same time, I really like her and I can’t figure out why she’s ghosting me. I’m worried it could be one of two things:
I accidentally let it slip that this was my first date in a very long time. I didn’t elaborate anything further but I recently got out of a nearly 4 year relationship and then I spent a year focusing on myself and not seeing any girls so she is the first girl I’ve taken an interest in in a long time. I wonder if she got scared by the pressure of that
She did tell me at one point that she had some selfconfidence issues. She knows she isn’t bad looking but she has some rejection issues where all the guys she’s liked has gone for one of her friends. She also told me she’s never been in a relationship. I told her I want her to be comfortable and that she should tell me if things are moving in a direction she wasn’t comfortable with. I’m wondering if she’s ghosting me because the date did go well but now she’s scared of rejection or maybe she’s scared that its gonna work out?
I’d appreciate any feedback. Thanks! 🙂