The desire for marriage is a good thing but what does one do when you’re waiting for marriage to happen? How can you enjoy singleness, even though you have a vision of marriage at some point in your future? Here are four important points I think will help, based on my own experience:
1. Know your purpose
We all have gifts and talents – single, married or otherwise – and we’re all called to use them for God’s kingdom. Now, part of your calling may include marriage, but before that happens, you must be up to something. If you’re not sure what your purpose or your calling is, ask God to reveal it to you. When you know your purpose, you don’t just sit around waiting for life to happen to you; you don’t wish your single days away, waiting for Mr Right to come and whisk you away. Instead, you’re committed to using your gifts for service to God and mankind.
2. Know your identity
To truly enjoy singleness, you must know who and Whose you are. The Bible says in 1 Peter chapter 2 verse 9, ‘But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.’ Know your identity. Your marital status is not your identity; it does not define you. If you don’t know who you are as a single person, you’re not likely to find that out in marriage. In some cultures, there can be a sort of shame that comes with being single, especially when you reach or are past a certain age. But, if you know who you are- that you are God’s special possession, chosen and called by God, you can hold your head up high, regardless of what the world says about you. So, know your identity and be secure in it.
3. Don’t put your life on hold; live it to the full
One of the things that many single people do, consciously or subconsciously, is put their lives or big plans on hold, for when they get married. For example, you have a dream holiday destination., and you say, ‘when I get married, my husband and I will go to so and so place’. The problem with putting your life on hold for marriage is that you miss out on the joys of ‘Now’. If this year has taught us anything, it is that tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. So, make the most of your time. Take that ‘once in a lifetime trip’. Go with friends or do it on your own if you have to. Don’t wait for marriage before you start living your life because life is happening right now and you don’t want it to pass you by.
4. Keep an open mind
By the time we get to a certain age, we know what we want, and we can be quite set in our ways. But when it comes to a single person that desires marriage, being set in our ways and not being open-minded can actually prevent us from seeing what God has set before us. For example, if you think the only way you can meet someone is if it’s someone at your church, you may be waiting a long while if your church doesn’t have many guys (this was me, by the way). Online dating is something I was always sceptical about, but when I finally decided to give it a go, I met the man that is now my husband. Now, if I hadn’t tried something new, or stepped out of my comfort zone, I may never have met my husband. But, being open-minded is not just about meeting the person you’ll marry. It is about embracing all that God has in store for you. It’s about making new friends of both sexes, trying new things, and living life to the full! The Bible says in John 10:10 that Jesus came that we may have life and have it to the full. When we remain fixed in our ways, we limit what God can do in our lives and we miss out on the abundant life that He wants to give to us.
So, how can you enjoy your current period of singleness? Recognise that singleness is a gift. Know your purpose and your identity. Live your life to the full and keep an open mind so you can receive all that God has in store for you.
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