Don’t waste your 20s

34/F here. I have a career, and I’d say fairly attractive. But I’m not a social butterfly. I no longer want to go to a club or bar every weekend and dating has become so hard over the past few years.

In my 20s, the options were endless. I was young, and there were more available guys my age or older. And there were some great relationship material guys available to me. And I made the mistake of not dating any of them long enough or not taking them seriously and instead staying with a shitty guy with no goals who treated me bad longer than I should have. It’s not that I was a bad person or thought I was too good for the other guys. Quite the opposite. I wasted my 20s running away from the quality men who approached me and wanted to date because I felt not good enough and insecure.

And all of those guys moved on and found their perfect partners and someone who valued them. And here I end up, single for 3 years now, with no one actively pursuing me and no one that I like being that invested in me because they can find someone younger. As you enter your 30s, the number of potential pool of available men dramatically falls. Many are married or have partners. And the single ones are mostly younger. The odds are very much stacked against us women.

I live with this regret every single day and have accepted that I may never find my partner. Don’t make the same mistakes as me. If you are a female in your 20s and you meet a good quality guy, give them a solid chance and don’t run away or let your insecurities get the best of you.

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