Date Planning Guide: How to Get Her to Say Yes to a Date

Want to know how to get her to say yes to a date? I’ve got some advice for you.

Learning how to get her to say yes to a date is one of the first steps in finding a compatible, long term girlfriend. Below are seven expert tips that will get her to say yes to a date and help you crush your dating goals.

How to Get Her to Say YES to a Date

Tip #1: Close for a Second Date While You’re Still on the First Date

Don’t leave the first date with a “good night” and a kiss. And no matter how spectacular that first kiss is, you definitely need to secure a second date with her while you’re still on the first date.

Cliffhangers are great for sitcoms, but they don’t work out so well #IRL when it comes to dating.

You might be saying something like this right now “Well Emyli, how do I do that?” Don’t worry, I got you!

One way to get her to say yes to dating you again (not JUST a first date) is to set a TDL with her for date #2. A TDL is a specific time, date, and location for your next meet-up. For example you could say something like this “I’d love to take you on a hike this Saturday around 11am. There’s a trail near the Golden Gate bridge. We could meet at the Warming Hut Cafe. You up for it?”

Pro Tip

I always recommend that my male clients make their first date something that is under an hour and that doesn’t exceed $15. And to ensure they don’t go too far outside of that one-hour window, I also advise having something planned with friends after the date.

If you’re having a really awesome time with her, you can invite her to that subsequent pre-planned activity. This initiative will impress her because women LOVE spontaneity. Plus, this move ultimately means a guaranteed second date.

Tip #2: Make the Date Idea Compelling

get her to say yes to a date

get her to say yes to a date

Just like a good marketer, you need to make sure that your dating sales pitch is on point if you want to get her to say yes to a date.

When you ask her out, don’t simply say something like, “Do you want to go out with me?” Have a specific plan in mind that relates to her interests and seems like an offer she can’t refuse.

For example…

If She’s Active

-Ask her on a hiking date. Research the trail and make sure to note all the elements that make this a kickass, scenic route. You can find trails near you by downloading the All Trails app

-Take a dance class or group workout class

-Go cycling

-Play beach volleyball

-Here’s a list of first date ideas

-And a list of second date ideas

If She’s a Movie Buff

Take her to a movie she’s been dying to see or look for throwback movie nights held at different cinemas near you.

If She’s a Wine or Beer Enthusiast

Hit up some wineries or breweries for a tour and tasting.

If You Feel Like Getting Nostalgic

Go mini-golfing.

Visit a theme park or local fair/carnival.

Have a picnic at a playground.

If She’s Artsy

Visit a museum.

Go to a sip and paint night.

Tip #3: Make the Date Compelling to the Specific Woman

get her to say yes to a date

get her to say yes to a date

You always want to make sure that you do a little research before suggesting a date. What are her interests? What are some things she’s said that gave you an idea as to what she would consider a good time?

There are different ways to find out what she’d like to do depending on your circumstances:

You Met on a Dating Site or App

Make sure you look up her interests listed on her profile or find out through your messaging with her so that you can plan accordingly.

Check out the Online Dating section of my blog for a variety of tips and insights into the dating world. And if you’re looking to reach your dating goals faster, check out my Dating Profile Services and my comprehensive online dating course.

You Met at Work

If you’re asking out a coworker, you may already have a good idea of her interests based on previous conversations. If you don’t, make sure that you find out more about her life outside of work before asking her out.

Dating a coworker can be a slippery slope. Check out my 7 Rules to Follow When Dating a Coworker for insights and advice.

You Met in the Real World

Whether it’s an acquaintance or a friend, when you ask out someone you already know, you should have some knowledge of what her interests are. You can always delve deeper into a conversation or ask a mutual friend what types of dates she typically enjoys.

The dynamic can be a little different on a date when you already know the person. Check out my blog on what you should talk about on a date with someone you already know for advice.

Tip #4: Use a TDL

I’m mentioning my patented TDL (a.k.a, the call-to-action or “Time, Date, Location”) again because it’s so effective when getting a girl to say yes to a date. It’s something you absolutely need to use on a regular basis.

When you use a TDL, you show her that you know how to take initiative by coming up with a well thought out plan. This shows strength, confidence, and leadership all things that women find EXTREMELY attractive.

Plus, using a TDL is chivalrous because it shows that you are respecting her time. Women have to do a lot of pre-date prep (picking an outfit, fixing hair and makeup, getting your nails done etc.), and coming up with a dating plan is one thing we’d really appreciate not adding to our list of to-dos.

Learn more about the ways you can fully utilize TDL (and get her to say yes to a date) here.

Tip #5: Choose the Right Day

get her to say yes to a date

get her to say yes to a date

If you want to get her to say yes to a date, pick a time that is likely to be convenient for her.

Asking her out for a day date on Saturday between 11am and 2pm is one time that tends to be ideal. Why is this an ideal day and time?

-The work week is done

-It gives her time to sleep in if she’s not an early riser and/or complete any morning errands she had planned

-If you’re just starting to date or it’s the first date, you don’t want to try to compete with her evening plans with friends (see my first date tips for men article for more on this)

-It can feel safer to a woman to go on a date during the day, where you two can be active and out and about

Tip #6: Make the Date and Location Easy for Her to Get to and Safe

One surefire way to get her to say yes to a date is to make the location of the date easy for her to get to and safe.

This tactic is particularly helpful if you are asking her out on a first date, AND even more so if it is a first date and the two of you met on Tinder, Bumble, or another online app/site.

Sadly, the internet (and the WORLD) is full of creeps. Giving her an option that is close to where she lives and in a safe place will ease her mind and you’re more likely to get her to say yes to a date.

Suggest a place that is nice and public. Some examples could include:

-Coffee or fancy tea at a chic cafe

-Happy hour



How to Get Her to Say Yes to a Date Tip #7: MegaDate

get her to say yes to a date

get her to say yes to a date

Practice makes perfect. The more experience that you gain asking girls out and taking them on dates, the better you will become getting her to say yes to a date.

Enter MegaDating. MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves dating several different people at the same time to decrease anxiety and fill your social calendar. It’s a great way to meet interesting people, learn more about yourself, and it makes dating FUN.

Looking for a coach and matchmaker to help speed up your dating progress? If so, I’m here to help. Book a 1-on-1 Zoom session with me or one of my other coaches today. During your session we’ll discuss your roadblocks, create an action plan, and see if my coaching or matchmaking services is right for you.

Latest posts