After weeks and months of social isolation and social distancing, many Austin Singles are wondering when it is a good time to get back out there. The media tells us that COVID19 cases are on the rise and there is no end in sight. However, that doesn’t mean that you need to wait on the vaccine to be developed to achieve your relationship goals.
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More than any other risk, love is the one that is perhaps the scariest. I work with successful Austin Singles every day and more often than not they ask well what guarantees do you offer. I always tell them that using a matchmaking service “is worth it in the end, I promise.” Love doesn’t always work out no matter how you met that person, so it’s scary to put your heart on the line, but when you find it and it’s right, you’ll be glad you put yourself out there. There is nothing more fulfilling than sharing your life with someone you love, than loving someone else more than you love yourself. Love is the greatest gift of all, but you have to be willing to give a little of yourself to reap the reward.
Telling people to take a chance on love is like telling them to get wet when they shower: There is no other way.
There is actually a phobia called Philophobia which is an overwhelming and unreasonable fear of falling in love, beyond just a typical apprehensiveness about it. The phobia is so intense that it interferes with your life.
A new relationship is uncharted territory, and most Austin Singles have natural fears of the unknown. Letting ourselves fall in love means taking a real risk. We are placing a great amount of trust in another person, allowing them to affect us, which makes us feel exposed and vulnerable. Our core defenses are challenged. Any habits we’ve long had that allow us to feel self-focused or self-contained start to fall by the wayside. We tend to believe that the more we care, the more we can get hurt.
There is always going to be some kind of worry attached with love, because deep down all Austin Singles are looking for the same thing. Someone who makes their day better, someone who sees everything you hate about yourself and is going to love it all. The hope of finding someone that puts in as much effort as you do, that has the capability to love you like you love them.
Do you have a fear of falling in love?
So many Austin Singles are scared of relationships because they have a fear of love. What lives inside of this urge is the subconscious awareness that to love means to open yourself to the possibility of getting hurt by losing the one you love or being rejected by them. If you pull back from the relationship, you limit the intimacy and, consequently, hedge your bets against the risk.
Some people fear love because it makes them think about their mortality. Loving someone and being loved back can make the thought of death much scarier because you have more to lose. Some people may even avoid falling in love or being loved because of these negative, frightening feelings.
It may be time for Austin singles to use positive self-talk regarding love. Try using positive daily affirmations to develop more positive feelings about love. Positive daily affirmations can help you to deal with the negative emotions that may be part of your fears about love. Take a few moments each day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something positive about love. You can say something that you believe about love or something that you would like to believe about love. Some examples of things you might tell yourself include:
• “I am worthy of love.”
• “I will have a fulfilling loving relationship someday.”
• “Love is a wonderful thing.”
Don’t give up on something that when it does come into your life makes you feel so alive. Loving someone is an act that you should never regret no matter how it ends up. You deserve to know what it’s like to fall in love and even better, you deserve to feel loved.
Don’t be scared of love because one day soon you’re going to meet someone who makes all of the fears worth it.
My hope for you is that you don’t let the fear hold you back from something completely magical. Don’t give up on something that when it does come into your life makes you feel so alive. Loving someone is an act that you should never regret no matter how it ends up. Austin Singles deserve to know what it’s like to fall in love and even better, you deserve to feel loved.
Want more dating advice from an Austin Matchmaker? Here’s how to find your perfect match in Austin!