Advice for the people here under 25- you seriously don’t understand how young you are

I’m in my late 20s now and I have a good head on my shoulders. I have a career I love, I’m dating a beautiful woman and my family issues are finally starting to get sorted. Can I tell you where I was 6 years ago when I was 22? A complete fucking mess.

I had finished my bachelors degree and didn’t know what to do with it so I was working odd jobs (despite having an expensive and high end B.Sc), I was missing an ex who wasn’t interested anymore , I had a pretty bad porn and weed addiction and I was just confused.

What I realize now looking back it, is that everything before the age of 25 is really just your exploratory and learning phase. Even though I had learned in cognitive psych that our brain isnt finished developing till we’re 25, for some reason I expected myself to be at his best even though my brain wasn’t finished developing! How does that make sense?

What I think you’ll realize as you get older is that long term commitments truly are what make life meaningful. In career, in dating and even in friendship. Under 25 I had a huge clique of friends, most of which I don’t talk to anymore. I was bitter about this a bit but now as time went on, the friendships that have stayed are truly so meaningful. The same goes with dating. When I was 24 I had only been with 6 partners to that point sexually, and I was feeling bad about it. It doesn’t help that you have toxic pua culture making guys feel like trash if they aren’t obsessed with “lay count”. So pathetic. What I realized is that one beautiful relationship is better than 100 one night stands. This also goes with career. Find something to commit yourself to, and give it your all. By “find something”, I mean follow your intuitions. They have a wisdom that your conscience brain isn’t even aware of yet. The little stupid relationships I had have led me to the right partner. The stupid jobs I had led me to an amazing career. Weeding through all those superficial relationships allowed me to realize who truly was my best friend.

So go ahead, make mistakes, let yourself feel shitty. Miss that person. Miss those friends. Long for a career that you can’t seem to find. The only thing you should not do, is ever believe that you are “lost”. You are not lost, you are simply finding exactly who it is you are becoming. And once your brain finishes developing, you will look back and realize how foolish you were for doubting yourself!

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