3 Biggest Mistakes in Online Dating

Posted by Sandy Weiner in online dating after 40 | 0 comments

mistakes in online datingmistakes in online dating

Watch this video to learn the top 3 mistakes, so you can turn them around and find love online – even during the pandemic!

If you’re dating online without success, you’re probably making these 3 deadly mistakes. In today’s video, I’ll reveal the most common mistakes in online dating, and how you can turn them around to find love online!

3 Biggest Mistakes in Online Dating

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Mistake #1. You wait for men to initiate contact

Most dating advice says women don’t chase. It’s a sign of desperation or low self worth if you send a first message to a guy. I disagree vehemently. My dating philosophy is based on principles, not rules. One of my principles is to be assertive, not aggressive. Sending the first message is a way to assert yourself, to give a man a green light, not ask him out, not tell him you’re in love with him. Just a little nudge in your direction.

What happens when you don’t send a first message? You get whatever falls into your net, which is often not what you’re looking for. When you initiate contact, you are empowered to be the chooser. Plus, someone outside your search preferences might not find you, but you will find him.

Mistake #2. Your messages aren’t compelling enough

If you’re tired of messages that say, “Hi, hot stuff” or “You’re the woman I’ve been waiting for. Let me tell you about me…”, start taking the lead and write to men you like. Think of it as dropping a handkerchief or giving a man a green light. You’re letting the men YOU CHOOSE know you like their profile and you want to start a conversation.

So, what if you write to a guy, but he doesn’t answer? It can be very frustrating if it happens over and over. What can you do? First, don’t take it personally.

Guys don’t respond for a variety of reasons, such as:

  • They’re not paying members on a paid site like Match.com, and can’t read or respond to your message.
  • They’re busy and don’t get to their messages right away.
  • They’re popular and receive tons of messages.

You can’t do anything about the first two. But you can do something about the third. You can write messages that stand out and get noticed. 90% of the people dating online write ineffective messages. You can have the advantage of writing a message that puts you in the top 10% of his inbox.

Here’s how:

  1. Start with what piqued your interest in his profile. Example: I noticed you’ve been to Italy.
  2. What he should know about you. Example: One of my favorite trips was to Venice, Rome, and Florence. I loved visiting the amazing museums. Can’t wait to travel again.
  3. Ask a question. Make it simple, not too intrusive. Example: When the pandemic ends, where are you going to travel first?
  4. Sign your name

Mistake #3. Your profile doesn’t stand out

Online dating sites and apps are your marketing platform for love. The way you present yourself online gives your ideal match a small window into who you are in real life. A good profile is designed to attract your ideal match – and get him curious enough to want to get to know you.

What your profile IS:

  • To attract the right men
  • For him to see your authentic self
  • Short and detailed, not a list of adjectives
  • Positive
  • Shares highlights of your life
  • To show him you value and respect yourself
  • To reveal that you’re multi-dimensional, and you’ll reveal your layers slowly to the right man
  • Demonstrates your relationship standards
  • To show you’re flirty and fun

Want to finally have success in online dating? Join Find Love Online During the Pandemic

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